Remember

Happy Birthday Daddy.

Full Moon

Tonight there is a full moon and for once it is visible from Dublin.It is a long tome since it was used as a calender :)
Life is not fair. You only have to see how the France vs Ireland match was dealt woth by FIFA to see that.The small guy always gets the short end of the stick. Recently someone remarked to me about how much was wasted in effort, time and money on useless exercises. He was referring to politicians who wasted the resources of a country for their own egotistical reasons. It is only as we grow older that we recognise such futility.
Anyway back to the moon. The full moon was, and still is, used as an excuse for having a ceremony. In Asia it is seen as a chance to party, in the west it tends to have more forbiding nouances.
Right now for me it is a marker. The next full moon is on New Years Eve. It will mark the end of a six month wait. At the end of it I hope to have some answers. I don't know if I want to hear the answers but I don't think I can handle the long waits.
Oiche mhaith a chairde.

Smelling the roses

I took the all too rare chance of going for a long walk this evening. It was a beautiful end to the day. The recent dry weather resulted in the cut grass and the light dusting of leaves on the footpaths having a light , dry, almost roasted aroma. The crisp leaves crinkled as they were getting crushed underfoot. The sky was almost clear of clouds. A red hue glowed from underneath the clouds as they reflected the setting sun. It is a sight that never ceases to impress me in it’s majesty. In the east the day old full moon rose silently. It’s bland white contrasting with the intensity of the dying star in the west. Most people walked with their heads bent, looking at the ground, listening to headphones or concentrating on getting the most out of their exercise. There is sadness to this autumn beauty. It will end with the dark cold days of winter. A poem comes to mind. It was written by a prisoner on the night before his execution. Full, and perhaps too full, of melancholy. but then how will we react when faced with our mortality? LOL? I don’t think so.
The poet spent a lot of his time on the west coast of Ireland. Connacht is the name of a province in the west of Ireland.
Anyway here is the poem;

The Wayfarer

The beauty of the world hath made me sad,
This beauty that will pass;
Sometimes my heart hath shaken with great joy
To see a leaping squirrel in a tree
Or a red lady-bird upon a stalk,
Or little rabbits in a field at evening,
Lit by a slanting sun,
Or some green hill where shadows drifted by
Some quiet hill where mountainy man hath sown
And soon would reap; near to the gate of Heaven;
Or children with bare feet upon the sands
Of some ebbed sea, or playing on the streets
Of little towns in Connacht,
Things young and happy.
And then my heart hath told me:
These will pass,
Will pass and change, will die and be no more,
Things bright and green, things young and happy;
And I have gone upon my way
Sorrowful.

Totus tuus

On this day 30 years ago I got on a minibus along with about 12 other “young” people and travelled through the night to Ballybrit just outside Galway. We did not sleep on the journey as we were too excited about the event. On arrival we made our way through the 300,000 or so other people to the racecourse. It is impossible to paint a word picture to fully describe the scene. It was still dark and the lighting along the way was very dim. Some groups had guitars and were singing as they walked. We arrived at a area that was fenced off into a seeming endless number of corrals. On finding ours we sat down on the wet grass and tried to get a little rest. I woke up to a gray misty dawn. A well known bishop and a priest were on the stage trying to get people awake. Looking around I finally realized the size of the crowd. I will never see as many people in one place again. From horizon to horizon it was just people. It seemed that every teenager in Ireland was here, along with all the twenty somethings. As we waited being entertained by a bishop, who had fathered a child with an American divorcee and a priest who had a son with his housekeeper (unknown to us then), the fog slowly lifted. The drone of a helicopter became slowly audible and then it appeared through the mist. A white figure could be seen waving from the cockpit. The roar from the crowd drowned out all other noise, it later turned into singing.
The red helicopter circled before landing. The Pope had arrived.
Over the 2 and a half day period of his visit, Pope John-Pau II was seen by about 2.5 million people out of a population of about 3.5 million.
It was a turning point both for Ireland and the Catholic Church here. After his visit there was an upsurge in religious devotion. However 10 years later the revelations which would shake the foundations of the Catholic Church began to appear. Child sexual abuse, financial irregularities and political deals became the normal news for the Church. If there is such a thing as “peak oil” then perhaps this was peak faith.
Anyway, for me, these 3 days were an amazing adventure. I had witnessed something that never happened before and would never happen again. Everyone seemed to know what they had to do and did it.

De profundus

It is never easy to listen. To hear, to understand and to empathise all take time and effort. We are so busy with our own personal worlds that to reach out and touch someone else’s’ take a huge leap of love that for many it is a leap too far. We may know people who can do it but even if we are surrounded by friends, there is no certainty there will be one among them who can make this connection. I knew a man who could do just that. He was strong but understood weakness, he was determined but understood uncertainty and he was practical but knew love. I saw first hand how he saved people from themselves. People who had given up on their lives were given another chance through his ability to listen.
He is no longer here.
The Summer has given way to the chill evening wind of Autumn. The trees have chosen a warm red brown coat before the final Winter sleep. Branches are heavy with fruit, some good and some bad. The heavy musty smell of decaying leaves is on its way. All goes back to the good earth. Dust to dust.

A man for all seasons

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.


Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam dilís.

Perseid shower

I got my hopes up today that the forecast for "clear spells" would mean a view of the Perseid shower tonight. The forecast was wrong and it is just another cloudy evening here. On the positive side it is not raining!! It is a very long time ago since my cousins decided to camp out one night in August to see this event. Even at a young age I was interested in seeing the meteors, but not crazy enough to camp out,lol. My best sighting was by accident one night. I was, along with my father and brother, looking for some lost cattle. We found them and brought them back to their field. I was closing a gate when I saw a large fireball streak across the star lit sky. What amazed me most was the silence. It vanished like a quenced candle. A few years ago one actually landed a few miles from home. A lot of people searched for any remains and some were found. Such is the interest that a small rock of this material can be quite valuable.If I ever win the lottery one of my dreams is to have a good telescope and maybe even a small observatory. Anytime I have been abroad I try to identify the consellations in a "new" sky. I think everyone should take time to see the night sky. It was a familar sight to our ancestors for hundreds of thousands of years and we too should enjoy it's beauty.

A rare bird

Occasionally in life we get to experience something we previously only dreamed about. In the past few years providence has smiled on me in this regard. The latest event was last night at 23:30.
At 23:00 the space shuttle Endeavour took off from Cape Canaveral in Florida, USA. A few minutes later it jettisoned the two solid rocket boosters which landed by parachute in the Atlantic to be picked up by the US navy. About 20 minutes later it dropped off the huge external fuel tank. At this stage it was in orbit and the fuel tank burned up in the atmosphere. I went outside around 23:15. I was not expecting to see anything as the weather is very bad with lots of clouds. However, as if by magic or some other power, the skies cleared just enough to see some of the brighter stars. I waited. Then like a bright diamond in the sky, it appeared. The shuttle was like a very bright star as it reflected the rays of the sun on the dark Earth below. It is a sight I have seen before a number of times. What I saw next though was truly fantastic. The external tank now separated from the shuttle was moving just behind it in the sky. The tank had a rusty brown hue. Not as bright as its companion but still very visible. It was as if the shuttle had a lantern hanging from it as it made its celestial voyage. It is a sight I thought I would never see but, thanks to the many postponements of the launch due to weather issues, now I have realised a dream. At a time when I don’t feel so great , it was like a light shining in my darkness

Rememberence

Anyone looking at news from Ireland over the past few weeks will have seen the release of a major report into the abuse of children in various institutions and schools in Ireland from about the 1930’s to the 1980’s. During that time children were put into “care” as they were deemed to be in danger. The danger varied from the parents’ poverty, having an unmarried /widowed parent or living in an “immoral” home. Some children were sent to industrial schools for stealing or missing school. Violence and brutality were common tools used to control the inmates. Shocking in itself this was not the worse aspect of the treatment dished out in these, for all practical purposes, prisons. Sexual abuse and rape also became part of daily life for many children. Boys who were removed from society for fear of their moral lives were instead forced to suffer the worse evil that men in long black gowns had the capacity to imagine. Instead of being made to face this evil most of these people were moved on and the events hushed up. It was easier for those in authority to ignore it than admit to the atrocities that were being committed.
Some of these men were members of the Christian Brothers. One in particular became more infamous than most. He was asked to leave the Brothers when he first started abusing young boys. He moved from one school to another across Ireland. Each time he would start abusing a child, he would be moved on and given an excellent reference. As soon as a parent complained about his inappropriate behaviour, he moved on. When I started secondary school, he was teaching there. He had been there for a few years. I was lucky because he was only there for my first year. I remember him as a violent man who lost his temper and hit out with his fist for little or no reason. At a time when few parents had cars, he was always available to give lifts for after school activities like GAA, drama, debates etc. He was well dressed, well groomed and “smelled” clean. A lot of kids going to school would not have a very high standard of hygiene and so his clean smell was noticeable. He left after my first year. We did not know why but were more than happy that this tyrant was gone. I recently discovered that he left due to a parent complaining about his behaviour towards a child. I also discovered that he got a glowing reference from the school head. His violent and bullying behaviour was not lost on some of the older boys in the school. They copied his example and practiced it on the younger boys. Over the years it got less endemic but it left scars that for some would never heal.
All nations have something in their history that is shameful. Perhaps this is ours. What can be learned? Maybe it is that when something is wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the duty to do so. Everyone, teachers, religious, police, judiciary, politicians and even organisations whose role was to protect children, played a part in this. Healing can only begin when all accept their role and ask forgiveness.

Wish

We'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

Sometimes i hear lyrics that match my feelings. This is one of those moments.

Initial report on Barcelona

I recently returned from a 10 day vacation in Barcelona. It was my first time in Spain. Like all Irish people the first thing I noticed was the heat. The temperature was in the low twenties and very pleasant for me. Barcelona is a city of open spaces, unusual architecture, beautiful fountains and Irish pubs! It seems nowhere escapes the march of the Irish pub :)
One negative aspect of my visit was a certain Kilimanjaro restaurant in Placa de Catalunya. It is in a major transport and tourist hub of the city. In it I found the rudest waiter I ever met, some of the worst food I ever tasted and a hefty bill at the end of it.
My favourite excursion was to Montjuic via the cable-car from Torre Jaume 1. The view was fantastic and Montjuic is also near the Olympic stadium.
Barcelona must the capital of Museums because there is one for almost everything. From chocolate to wax and from ethnology to ceramics, it would be almost impossible not to find one that would be of interest. The Zoo in Barcelona is one of the best I’ve seen and the dolphin show is amazing. Speaking of which, the aquarium is excellent also. It was the first time I saw the most unusual angel fish which looks more like a swimming head than a complete fish. The public transport system is excellent and simple, even I could figure it out :D
In many ways Barcelona could be described as Gaudi’s city. His style is stamped on the city through such buildings as the Sagrada Familia Church, Casa Batllo and Parc Guell.
Not all the architecture in Barcelona appealed to me. The Arc de Triomf for example just looks bad. The one in Bucharest is much nicer, even with the scaffolding!
A word of warning. If you are a shopaholic do not visit El Corte Ingles at the top of Placa de Catalunya. It is a multi-story temple to shopping. There is a saying that if you can’t find something in El Corte Ingles then it does not exist. I won’t name names here but I know some people who could spend a lifetime in this shop ;)
More later...

Deanta na firinne

It has been a while since I posted. It is a bit late for me and I will start working in a new place tomorrow. I will say more about recent events in a later post. For the moment I will just say that I was in Barcelona for 10 days. It is a nice city, though not as nice as some of the advertising claims. It was not as I expected, but then life never has been. Anyway time for some shut-eye. Nite.

P45

I got my P45 today. It is similar to the “pink slip” in the USA. It is the document that an Irish employer gives to an employee who leaves the company. Recently it has become a familiar document for tens of thousands of Irish workers. Luckily, for me, I am leaving for another job. After 10 years and 7 months, today’s silence was a surprise to me. I was amazed by the way people I worked for, effectively ignored this major event in my work career. In spite of the many times I burned the midnight oil to ensure targets and goals were met, today it seems to have not mattered. My work colleagues talked about it of course. I am lucky to have worked with such nice people. At the end of the day it is the people we work with than those we work for are the most important. Tomorrow I start in my new job. No rest for the wicked!!!!!

Mother's day

Last Sunday was Mother's day. During the afternoon I was in the local hospital visiting a relative. She was in a ward with three other patients. One was a girl in her late teens. She was paralysed, unable to speak and unable to feed herself. Her mother was there with her. She was feeding her with a plastic spoon. Mother's Day is not about cards or gifts or being guilty about not treating the person who gave us life with the respect she deserves. It is about acknowledging our mothers and appreciating them, not just for one day but always.

Surprise

I guess I will never learn! I know I should not post without thinking about what I am trying to say but sometimes the thoughts just want to jump out on the page. I will begin by saying what I know about love could be written on the back of a postage stamp and still leave room for the combined works of Shakespeare. A great and wonderful aspect of love is the feeling it brings when one is with a loved one. I won't wate time trying to describe it. If you have felt it you know what I mean. The flip side is the emptyness of separation . The empty void is filled with concern, worry and even doubt. The days of being apart feel like weeks or months. As each day passes time seems to move in a slow almost still manner. Dreams turn to nightmares and the yearning for contact becomes overpowering.
Anyway time I went to bed. Good night.

“All goodness is prerequisite on a full belly; no man knows what hunger will make him do”

I went into the city centre this evening on a shopping trip, but as Bono would say “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”. I took the opportunity to check out the Transylvanian Restaurant in Henrietta Street. It was closed. They must have found out I was coming, lol. Not surprising really as all my Romanian contacts were also silent today. Maybe it is a holiday I don’t know about. Having resigned myself to no mamaliga, ciorba, or even sarmale, I ambled down Capel Street, passed myriads of Asian themed restaurants and one Turkish one, finally arriving at Ristorante Romano. I rang the bell and went in.
The Restorante Romano is not a great place to eat. It has nostalgic value as it is the first restaurant I ever went to. Compared to the prices in other restaurants in Dublin, it has bargin basement value. The food , however, is more Sloppy Joe than Cordon Bleu. The bill came to 25 Euro for soup, salmon with vegetables, and (just to keep the healthy aspect at bay) a banana split, all washed down with orange juice.
I had not been here for over 5 years. The first time I went was about 22 years ago. Back then it had an all Irish staff, then it changed to Italian workers and now it is Philippine waiters who welcome diners. Its main attraction is the relaxing quietness, mostly due to the lack of customers. When the restaurant was first opened, bicycle racing such as the Tour de France was very popular, and the walls are generously decorated with photographs of the Irish heroes of that era along with their Italian counterparts. We could do with some heroes now, all I see on the TV news are villains in fancy suits.
Good night and thanks for taking time to read this.

A Friend

A Friend
is someone that everyone needs,
A Friend
is someone you tell everything.
A Friend
is someone who always listens.
A Friend
is someone you never lie to.
A Friend
is someone who is always there.
A Friend,
is someone who tells you what you need to be told.
A Friend,
never lets you down.

Dacă tăceai filosof rămâneai

It pretty much sums up a lot about me. The times I should stay silent I usually speak. I have to admit i find it a bit weird here. I thought I would be posting much more but things get in the way and I find that weeks pass by and I have not posted. It is very depressing everywhere at the moment. Every country is lamenting the economic disaster. The politicians are blamed for not seeing it coming and doing something about it. The bankers are blamed for being greedy. Millions are losing their jobs and factories are vanishing faster than snuf at a wake.At the end of it all we are still the same people. And the only people to get us through this is ourselves. I have a fear. I fear that some people will look for scapegoats, look for someone to "blame". That is always the easy option because if we really want to see who carries the greatest responsability , we need only look in the mirror.

Good people and beautiful country

I will go back there and see it again. It is beautiful;

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=mYuZVyYyksw

Some videos of Retezat National Park;

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=mYuZVyYyksw

Three years ago I was looking forward to a trip to Romania, little realising that I was embarking on a journey that would eventually lead to a profound change in my life.
Noapte buna.

Back

Sorry for not posting for the past month or so. I was very busy coming up to Christmas and New Year. Happy New Year to everyone!!!!
It was a very different Christmas and New Year for me. I was very happy. One measure of how happy I was is the fact that when the reason for my happiness was no longer with me, I felt so empty. The proximity of one human being determines, more than anything else, how I feel. The problem is that we are mostly over 2,500kms from each other, and in the words of a good friend of mine, it sucks. But, short of winning the lottery, I can't see how we can get get closer.
It is very cold here tonight, down to -6 degrees. After years of mild winters it looks like we are finally getting a "normal" one. Over the weekend I saw a flock of about a dozen blackbirds feeding on the slowly rotting windfall apples in the small orchard at the rear of my parents house. It was interesting to see a trush in among them. It bullied his/her way around the blackbirds. A robin flew into the house and I had to open the front door to encourage it to fly out.
Anyway back to my normal life . My heart is in the care of someone 2,500kms away, but I know we will be together again. Good night evryone and stay safe.